With its growing popularity and burgeoning number of users, online
dating offers a fun and legitimate way to meet people. There are many
sincere and genuine people, who are interested in developing bona fide
relationships, now turning to the internet for potential love matches.
The old stereotype of internet dating being used by the 'socially
awkward' or 'perverts' has been superseded. Sure, some such
'characters' do frequent online dating sites but these people also
frequent bars, gyms, dance classes, community groups, workplaces,
church congregations, park toilets and the like! The reality is that
online dating sites now attract a wide range of people. People of all
ages, from all walks of life and of all persuasions are now logging
online to pursue love (and its many variations).
By linking you into a singles' network much larger than what you could
otherwise access, online dating can improve the odds of meeting someone
with whom you are compatible. So.... the issue is not whether internet
dating can help you find love. It can, and for thousands of people it
already has. There are, however, a number of issues which make internet
dating unique to more 'traditional' ways of meeting people. Being
cognisant of these differences can help you be a more 'streetwise'
internet dater and improve your chances of success online.
When people communicate in a solely text based environment over a
period of time, without having met in person, they often disclose more
about themselves than what they would otherwise. In short, they are
less inhibited. Such seeming 'openness' can lead to a sense of false
familiarity or intimacy. Whatsmore, such confidences are often
selective - the sender will present the best bits of him or herself.
This latter point is common in all early stages of getting to know
someone (we all like to 'put our best foot forward'), regardless of
place of meeting. The potential pitfall with online communication,
however, is that the recipient has less opportunity to check for
congruence between what is being reported and the sender's behaviour
i.e. they do not have visual cues or other non-verbals.
To guard against falling victim to 'false advertising' and/or of
misrepresenting oneself online, online dating may best be viewed as a
portal to getting to know potential matches. Online communication does
not on its own provide a comprehensive way in which to get to know
someone. It can, however, facilitate an awareness of, and desire to
know more about another person. To truly understand, appreciate and
know another person takes time and, for most of us, such knowledge is
only established through being in their company, enjoying shared
experiences, and through verbal and non-verbal communications.
So, if you are looking for love, online dating offers a highly
effective way in which to 'hook up' with other singles but, just
remember, the real 'hooking up' takes place offline!