The dating scene can be a challenge, especially when you're about to
embark on the unknown with someone new. It's not always easy to
communicate with someone in situations that build pressure, and first
dates do just that. The things said, and the responses given in
conversations can determine whether or not there will be dates to
follow. Below, I have addressed a few ways to possibly help ease the
stress and tension when it comes to conversation starters.
First dates make people anxious and nervous, so it's not
unlikely that the conversation on a first date will be awkward. In the
beginning of the date ask simple questions, just to get things rolling.
Inquire about your date's hobbies, occupation, likes and dislike.
Remember, the both of you are still in the "getting to know you stage."
It's perfectly fine to keep it simple. Often, one topic can lead to the
next topic, and that can solve any problems of silence.
Once you've covered the basics, it's not always obvious where to
take the conversation next. One thing you want to try and avoid is
questions that only have one worded answers. You both want to feel
comfortable on the date. If the answers to the questions are minimal,
then neither person is going to feel relaxed. Also, one worded answers
can give the impression that you're just not interested. The case may
be that it's only your nervousness working against you, but it could
appear otherwise to your date.
One thing to remember is that while people love to talk about
themselves, it's also important to listen. It's very attractive to have
a date that makes direct eye contact with you. It's a sign that he or
she is attentively paying attention to what you're saying.
Keep the topics to your conversations light. You don't want your
discussions to get too controversial on the first date. While politics
and religion can make for a good debate it can also cause the situation
to get heated. You may want to save that for another time.
Another good thing to avoid is talking about past relationships.
You're on a date to talk about yourself and find out if you both have
similar interests. It's a huge turn-off sitting there having to listen
to stories about someone's ex. Conversing about past relationships can
make it seem like you're comparing your date to someone else, or that
your feelings for your past love may still be there. In either case,
that could start things off on the wrong foot.
I know it's easier said than done, but try not to fret over
first date table talk. If you're able to relax, then things will run
smoother for both of you. Dating should be fun and entertaining; it
shouldn't be something that scares you.